A little bit lonely

My grandfather passed away on Monday (here is a link to the obituary). I wasn't able to visit him in the nursing home to say goodbye, and I'm unable to attend the wake and the funeral. I know that what I'm doing is important, but I just feel terrible. Not only did I not get to see my Papa, but I won't get to spend time with the rest of my family as they lay him to rest. Larry keeps reminding me that it's the circle of life - that he lost his grandmother this past April, and I just lost my grandfather, and now we're bringing two new people into the world. I know he's right, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just feel lonely, and sort of useless.

I had another checkup with the perinatologist yesterday; everything still looks good. Plus, we got to see a 3D image of our little boy! Our daughter was facing my back, so we couldn't get a shot of her, but I think our son looks like Larry already.

As crazy as it seems that the last 4 weeks have gone by relatively quickly, I don't know if I can do this for another 4-6 weeks. I mean, I know that I CAN, but it's just tough. I just feel so out of control. I think once the bathrooms are completed and I can take a shower every day like a normal person, I'll feel better. Plus it will help to be able to have a clean house again.